Driving became this lifeline for me, this way to connect to the world and to myself, to find solace and beauty in the midst of chaos. ‘I-90’ captures all of that – the searching, the loss, the freedom, and the sunset hunting. It’s a song that holds a lot of weight for me personally, and I hope listeners can feel some of that too when they hear it.
Sibylle Baier
You’ve mentioned Sibylle Baier as an influence on this album. What is it about her music that speaks to you, and how did that influence manifest on See You at the Maypole?
Sibylle Baier is such an enigma. She’s this mother who was living in Germany in the 70s, she recorded an album’s worth of songs, and then she just put it in a drawer and never released it. It wasn’t until years later when her son found it and released it to the world, and it’s such a beautiful, quiet, introspective, intimate album. There’s something about her voice and her songwriting that feels so pure and raw – it’s not trying to be anything other than what it is. It’s very simple, but it’s so powerful in its simplicity. I think what really resonated with me about her music is the sense of vulnerability and honesty that she brings to her songs. It’s like she’s baring her soul in every note, and that kind of authenticity is really inspiring to me.
On See You at the Maypole, I wanted to capture some of that rawness and vulnerability in my own music. I think you can hear it in songs like ‘Fortress’ and ‘Sourdough’. There’s a stripped-back quality to those songs that I think was influenced by Sibylle Baier’s music. I wanted to create a space where I could be honest and vulnerable, where I could explore my own emotions and experiences in a way that felt true to myself. Sibylle Baier’s music gave me permission to do that, to embrace the imperfections and uncertainties of life, and to find beauty in the midst of it all.
Listening to her music was like finding a kindred spirit, someone who understood the depths of human emotion and wasn’t afraid to express it. I hope that listeners can feel some of that connection when they listen to See You at the Maypole – that sense of intimacy and honesty that comes from sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings through music.
Mother Figures
There are a lot of references to mother figures on this album – from your own mother to motherhood more broadly. What role do mothers play in your music, and how did that theme come to the forefront on See You at the Maypole?
Motherhood has always been a central theme in my music, I think partly because of my own complicated relationship with my mother and partly because of the universal significance of motherhood as a concept. Mothers are these figures of love, nurture, and guidance, but they can also be sources of pain, loss, and confusion. I think that complexity is really interesting to me, and it’s something that I wanted to explore more deeply on this album.
After I had my miscarriage, I found myself grappling with all of these conflicting emotions about motherhood – grief, longing, fear, hope. It was a really intense and difficult time for me, and I think that came through in the music. Songs like ‘Fortress’ and ‘Swimmer’ touch on those themes of loss and longing, of trying to find a sense of security and stability in the midst of chaos. The image of the mother figure became a kind of anchor for me, a symbol of strength and resilience in the face of adversity.
But I also wanted to explore the idea of motherhood more broadly – not just as a biological relationship, but as a metaphor for connection, care, and compassion. I think that’s why you see references to mother figures throughout the album, from the nurturing presence of the earth in ‘Sourdough’ to the protective instincts of a mother bear in ‘Birch Trees’. Mothers are these powerful, multifaceted beings, and I wanted to capture some of that complexity in the music.
Ultimately, I think mothers represent this idea of unconditional love and support, of being held and seen and understood in a way that is both comforting and challenging. They push us to grow and change, to confront our fears and doubts, to become the best versions of ourselves. That’s the kind of energy I wanted to channel on See You at the Maypole – this sense of maternal care and guidance, of finding strength and solace in the embrace of something greater than ourselves.
Sufjan Stevens’ The Age of Adz
You’ve mentioned Sufjan Stevens’ The Age of Adz as an influence on this album. What is it about that album that resonates with you, and how did it inspire your own music on See You at the Maypole?
The Age of Adz is such a bold and ambitious album, both musically and thematically. It’s this sprawling, kaleidoscopic portrait of love, loss, and transformation, filled with lush orchestration, intricate arrangements, and deeply personal lyrics. I think what really resonates with me about that album is the way Sufjan Stevens is able to weave together these grand, sweeping narratives with intimate, introspective moments. There’s a sense of scale and scope to his music that is really awe-inspiring, but also a sense of vulnerability and honesty that makes it feel deeply human.
On See You at the Maypole, I wanted to capture some of that balance between the epic and the intimate, the grand and the personal. I think you can hear it in songs like ‘Fortress’ and ‘Swimmer’, where there’s this sense of vastness and expansiveness, but also a sense of intimacy and vulnerability. I wanted to create a space where I could explore big ideas and emotions, but also delve into the minutiae of everyday life and experience.
Listening to The Age of Adz was like a revelation for me – it showed me that music could be both epic and intimate, both ambitious and personal. It gave me permission to dream big and take risks with my own music, to push myself beyond my comfort zone and explore new sonic territories. I hope that listeners can feel some of that same sense of possibility and wonder when they listen to See You at the Maypole – that sense of daring and exploration, of reaching for something beyond ourselves.
Ultimately, I think Sufjan Stevens’ music is all about connection – to ourselves, to each other, to the world around us. It’s about finding beauty and meaning in the midst of chaos, about embracing the fullness of life with all its joys and sorrows. That’s the kind of energy I wanted to channel on this album – this sense of wonder and awe, of being alive and present in the moment, of moving forward with courage and grace.
And I think that’s what Sufjan does so well, is he takes these intensely personal moments and somehow makes them universal. That’s something I aspire to do in my own writing as well – to take these moments of darkness and grief and turn them into something that others can connect with, something that can bring joy or understanding or comfort. It’s a delicate balance, but I think it’s important to be vulnerable and open in your art, even when it’s difficult. And I think Age of Adz was a reference point for me in terms of how to navigate that vulnerability and intensity in my own music.
So, harmonizing speech videos on YouTube – it’s a weird corner of YouTube that I stumbled upon one day. It’s basically videos of people talking about various topics, but their voices have been edited and harmonized to create this mesmerizing, almost otherworldly effect. It’s like ASMR meets a choir of angels. I found it so fascinating and inspiring because it was such a unique way of manipulating sound and creating something beautiful out of ordinary speech.
When I was working on songs like ‘Shirtsleeves’ and ‘Heartwood’, I wanted to experiment with vocal layering and harmonies in a way that felt fresh and unexpected. I think those harmonizing speech videos sparked something in me creatively, pushing me to think outside the box and try new things with my music. It’s all about finding inspiration in unexpected places and letting that spark of creativity lead you in new and exciting directions.
So, while it may seem like a random influence compared to books or personal experiences, I truly believe that inspiration can come from anywhere and everywhere. It’s all about being open to the world around you and letting those little moments of magic guide you in your creative journey. And who knows, maybe one day I’ll release a harmonized speech album – you never know!
And then I was watching my mother-in-law go through this, so mothering was just everywhere in my life at that time. And I was really looking for guidance and comfort from these mother figures and from this idea of nature being our ultimate mother. I think that’s a lot of what the record is about – finding mothering and nurturing in unexpected places and in different forms. And in the end, I did get pregnant again, and it was such a beautiful completion of that journey. But it wasn’t until I had gone through all of that that I could really appreciate and understand all the different ways that mothering can manifest in our lives.
It was a really intense time, and I think his passing was felt deeply by so many people, not just in my family. I remember getting the news and just feeling like a chapter was closing, but also a chapter was opening. It felt like a big transition point in my life. I was also reading his book, No Death, No Fear, at the time, which is all about impermanence and the cyclical nature of life and death. It was such a comfort to read that book during that time. It really helped me process everything that was happening.
Thich Nhat Hahn’s teachings have always resonated with me because they are so simple and yet so profound. The idea of mindfulness and being present in each moment has been a guiding principle for me, especially during difficult times. His words have a way of cutting through all the noise and getting to the heart of things. I think that’s why his passing felt like such a significant moment for me – it was a reminder of the impermanence of life, but also a reminder to cherish each moment as it comes.
So, in a way, he was another one of those figures who was modeling resilience and grace in the face of adversity. And I think that’s ultimately what I was trying to capture in this album – that sense of holding on to hope and beauty even in the darkest of times. It’s about finding light in the midst of darkness, and I think that’s what Thich Nhat Hahn’s teachings have always been about.
Recuerdo estar sentada en este estacionamiento leyendo eso; la lluvia golpeaba el parabrisas mientras leía sobre su fallecimiento, y recordaba esta historia que mi papá me contó sobre una de sus experiencias con Thich Nhat Hanh en Plum Village, cuando lo encontró hablando con un grupo de niños de escuela. Les estaba enseñando estas ideas de continuidad: no hay nacimiento, no hay muerte, las cosas simplemente continúan. Él dijo: “Voy a quemar este trozo de papel, ¿qué le pasa?” Y se convierte en humo. Los niños dijeron: “Oh, se convirtió en humo”. Y luego él dijo: “Sí, y luego el humo va a subir al cielo. Así que si luego llueve y la lluvia cae sobre ti, podrías decir como, ‘Hola, pequeño trozo de papel,’ porque sabes que ese papel se convirtió en humo que se convirtió en nubes que se convirtieron en lluvia.”
Me encanta esa historia. Es una idea tan simple, se la contaron a niños de escuela, pero contiene tantas semillas de sabiduría. Así que en ese momento en el que estaba enfrentando, “Dios mío, esta persona a la que quiero tanto quizás nos vaya a dejar en cuestión de meses,” fue casi como si el fallecimiento de Thich Nhat Hanh en un plazo de 24 horas fuera como… No creo que esto fuera un mensaje para mí, pero sí saqué un mensaje de ello. La sincronización fue bastante notable, y lloviendo en ese momento, pensé, incluso en su fallecimiento, me está dando su enseñanza. En ese momento, estaba leyendo muchas citas suyas mientras escribía, así que sus palabras están realmente entrelazadas en varias canciones del disco. Estamos hablando de formas que se entrelazan en otras cosas; puedo ver esta línea directa de un pequeñísimo pedazo de su magnífico espíritu convirtiéndose en parte de esta música.
Esta entrevista ha sido editada y resumida para mayor claridad y longitud.
See You at the Maypole de Half Waif ya está disponible a través de ANTI-.
See You At The Maypole de Half Waif